Biggest Loser Resort, Day 1: Window shade. Yum.

Just a few hours into my stay at The Biggest Loser Resort (after eating both breakfast and lunch in rapid succession), I was ready to chow down on the window shade in my room.

In my jet-lagged, delirious state, it looked like matzo to me. Slightly burned, but … dontcha think? Obviously, the matzo brei demons were taking over.

But by the end of the day I found I couldn’t finish my dinner — which, at first glance, looked like an appetizer. A puny one that had me snickering in disbelief.

More on this miraculous transformation tomorrow after I get some sleep.

Sorry, but boot camp starts before dawn. And I can’t be late or the drill sergeants will be after my tuchus.

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