When I was growing up at the Joisey Shore, there was a guy I looked forward to seeing every week: The Dugan’s Man.

He didn’t whisper sweet nothings in my ear. He left sweet somethings for me to savor.

And at age 5, I fell in love. With cupcakes.

I never found another like them. The golden cake offered up in a crinkled paper wrapper was (mouth watering) just right. Moist and substantial. The chocolate (my favorite) icing a stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth slab.

(Entenmann’s golden fudge cake is sort of in the neighborhood, but it has a chemical aftertaste.)

Trying to recapture a moment at Magnolia.

Ever since Sex and the City made a big deal out of Magnolia Bakery on NYC’s Bleecker Street, I had to see if it would live up to my childhood dream. How could it not? Why else would anyone stand in a line that curled around the block?

Not worth waiting hours for, but pretty good if you’ve just gotta have it. The icing is a little too fluffy (I like it thick). But they’re better than others in The Apple.

And I oughta know. It was my mission one debauched weekend to find the best cupcakes in NYC (only had time for Manhattan). They all had cute names like Crumbs (several locations), Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery, Two Little Red Hens. But the cupcakes weren’t nearly as special. With sweet names like those, I wanted them to be great. They missed. (Here’s more  if you want to do your own research.)

One enterprise has got everyone else beat in the convenience department.

Sprinkles, proclaimed “the Beverly Hills-based Holy Grail of cupcakery” is getting ready to debut an ATM-like device that dispenses its famous cupcakes 24/7.

Never had the pleasure. Will have to check it out. If you get there first, let me know what they’re like, wouldja?