OK, this would have vexed my bubbie Nanny Brown (Jewish grandma), who kept kosher, no end. Almost as much as me dating a Gentile guy.

Have to admit, I was just about to lose what little lunch I’d already consumed when I saw this staple on the menu in the Azores.

Barnacles.

Credit: The History Channel

All I could think of was an image of the Titanic shipwreck covered in barnacles. And that guy Mike Barnicle.

Hey, so these marine animals are extra-clingy. I can identify.

Now that the introduction’s out of the way, here’s how to get intimate.

How to eat a barnacle

1) Stare at it in disbelief for as long as necessary.

2) Be grateful it was already opened by the chef. Use a pick to get at the rest.

3) Savor the delicate meat, which sort of tastes like clams on the half shell.

4) Down the juice. Bottoms up!

Bom gosto! (As they say in Portugese, according to my Google translator.) So if you’re ridding your boat of those pesky barnacles, send ’em my way. (Sorry, grandma.)